Single Mom Dating : The idea of dating a woman with a child can be very scary, if not scary for many men. But it shouldn’t. You see, mother is also a real person. In many cases they are also women. Crazy, right? The stigma attached to single mothers is the word “baggage”.
But that’s not really the case, most of the time. In these times, especially in America, the role of single mothers is more pervasive in our society than ever before. There was a time when single mothers were a rare sight. If there is a single mother it is because of divorce or she is a widow. There are currently over ten million single parents in America today. It’s evidence that traditional family dynamics have changed and continue to evolve along with social norms… That said; why not date single moms?
I have dated several single mothers in my time. I’m also friends with a few. And, to be fair, it’s inherently different from dating your standard single woman. Not to say that there’s such a thing as a “standard single woman problem…” That’s okay. I didn’t step on that landmine.
More importantly, dating a single mother is a little different. This is different because, obviously, a single mother has other, more important priorities, which are far more important than you might include. Finding time to spend together can also be a challenge for a single mother.
Also, there may be an aspect that the father is also “in the picture”. This isn’t made to sound like a “resignation” or a “strike” not to date a single mother, just differences to be aware of. On the other hand, single moms know a thing or two about balancing life’s pleasures and rewards with their loved ones. Also, a single mother knows what love is, true unconditional love; they are also better equipped to give this kind of love and care.
When dating a single mom, you need to be up front with what you’re looking for. Many single mothers look to the future, with their children in mind, in terms of relationships. That is, a single mother will look for a suitable partner who can provide and be a good father to her children.
There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s perfectly normal. However, if you are not looking for that kind of relationship then you should be up front as the stakes are always higher when kids are involved.
If you and the single mom are okay on casual dates, then that’s okay. Her kids aren’t really part of the picture in that type of relationship and you can date her and, to some degree, separate her role as a mother from being a single woman.
However, if you both decide that you want to “go” seriously in a relationship, then there are considerations to be made. For example, remember that a single mother sets the rules for her children. It’s important to respect the rules and not break them. Also, it may be a good idea not to reprimand his children without his permission. And if you do, never be more assertive than mom.
If dad is in the picture, try to be friendly and welcoming, despite any negativity you might hear. Respecting the role and values he wants to instill in his children will go a long way in making this kind of relationship work. It’s also important to understand what a single mother expects of you. If he needs to take the kids to the doctor and he can’t for some reason, are you expected to step in and help?
I know most women will cringe in this next section, but this is an important topic. Would a single mother expect help from a financial point of view? Raising a child isn’t cheap and it’s natural to ask for help when it’s available. This is not to insinuate that a single mother cannot be independent, I know single mothers who are and some who are not. This is a reasonable question and hope to ask someone who will be a part of a single mother’s future as well as her children.
Dating a single mother in a serious capacity is a complex matter. If you spend enough time thinking about dating a single mom and getting advice from your friends, you’ll likely find plenty of reasons not to date her. But, I have a few reasons why you should date a single mom:
A single mother is a strong woman. She must be for her children. He must put the needs of others before his own.
A single mother is better able to give her love, she understands what true unconditional love is than a child who does not have a partner.
In line with the previous point, a single mother is generally more self-giving and more able to receive love.
In some situations fathers are part of the picture and active in their children’s lives. This allows a single mother great flexibility to spend quality time with you. So the kids aren’t always the anchors, that’s how it is.
In closing, I think dating a single mother is both a good thing and a rewarding experience, even for those who don’t have children of their own. A single mother is not someone to be feared, but someone to be respected. A single mother has to wear several different hats and is a strong person.
If you are looking for a strong person, try a single mother. As long as you communicate, up front, what you want from your relationship will be fine. However, know that children factor into a relationship with a single mother in some way or another. In the end it is a worthwhile experience to be handled with care.